www.frontporchcoalition.orgAs Vicki Buehler looks at pictures and keepsakes of her son Rocky, she remembers a care–free boy who grew into a teenager struggling with depression.
"He had come and said, 'mom, I'm having suicidal thoughts, I need help.'"
That was in June of 2009. Immediately she got him into therapy where he was prescribed anti–depressants. When school started, it seemed he was doing better. Then at Thanksgiving, his Internet girlfriend told him that she had cheated on him. He sunk into depression again and his prescription for Prozac was doubled.
A massive Christmas blizzard started a string of events that would ultimately be too much for Rocky to handle.
"When he backed out of my driveway, he ran into the neighbor's truck," Buehler said.
The next evening, he was pulled over and ticketed for speeding, having a busted tail–light, and for driving past curfew. "You know, to a 15-year-old, he's devastated. He wanted to move home, he was scared to tell his dad, and I just said, 'stay where you're at, and we'll talk about it in the morning.' I tried to assure him everything was going to be alright."
The next day at work, she had a bad feeling. "I knew that his father had guns in the house and we had talked about it once. Rocky had even told me he had held that gun to his head before. So, I just said to my boss, 'I gotta go check on my kid.' I knew something was wrong."
Buehler arrived too late. "The emergency vehicles were already there," she said.
In the months following, a million thoughts rushed through her head. "What should I have done? What could I have done? What other things were there?"
That's when she embarked on a journey that she hoped would change her life and the lives of the youth in her community. "The mission statement for my journey was to travel the country seeking wisdom and enlightenment to bring home to my community and its youth. I just had to see what else what out there."
What she discovered was that help for teens struggling with depression was scarce, hard to find, and literally non–existent in high school."
Partly for her own healing and also in search of ideas as to what others do in their communities, she traveled to Southern California to take part in "Challenge Day" a program featured on Tom Brokaw's "Bridging the Divide."
What she found was open doors of communication.
"Most of them just want to be heard, they just want to talk to somebody. There has to be a way, and I think it has to come from the community, to let these kids know that there are adults that they can trust, they can come to us without winding up in jail," Buehler said.
"While people make a connection through texting and Facebook, that's what our kids are doing, texting and Facebook, having someone that they can actually sit down and talk to that will actually listen to them, that will be mentor to them, that will get them involved in different community activities, those are the protective factors that we call kids' Sources of Strength," said Stephanie Schweitzer Dixon with the Front Porch Coalition.
Sources of Strength is a tool Pennington County uses in schools to address suicide. But Schweitzer Dixon says developing a successful program in a school district can take years, funding, and something that's even harder to attain. "I think, in this part of the country, you need not just staff to do that kind of work and funding, you need to shift a community's attitude."
Buehler is making some progress. She has successfully planned a "Life Walk" scheduled for memorial day weekend. Fundraising is only part of this hurting mothers mission. She hopes to inspire change – any way she can - even opening her home and life to teens faced with insurmountable obstacles.
"We have to stop hiding it, sweeping it under the rug. We have to address it, acknowledge it."
If it can bring one young person out of the darkness, Buehler says she will have fulfilled her son's wishes.
"Rocky wants me to show them the light, you know, he does."
