KOTA Territory NewsTeen 'Sexting:' What Kids Wish Their Parents Knew About Their Cell phones

Teen 'Sexting:' What Kids Wish Their Parents Knew About Their Cell phones

Teen 'Sexting:' What Teens Wish Their Parents Knew About Their Phones

by Shad Olson

**Caution: Contains frank and descriptive language about sex and mature topics.***

They talk about it with an ease and nonchalance that their parents and grandparents might find shocking.

"He sent me a picture of his penis," a 15-year old Rapid City Central freshman girl says, giggling with what seems a mixture of embarrassment and nervous apprehension.

"That's how it works," says another. "They take a picture of their penis, or their vagina, or their [sic] tits and then they send it to you and it just gets sent around and around and everywhere."

They're referring to the increasingly popular practice known as "Sexting," teens and even pre-teen kids with cell phones using their digital savvy to take and transmit nude pictures from phone to phone; trading images of body parts like so many baseball cards.

"It's everywhere," says a 16-year old girl. "It's on everyone's phone. Everyone [sic] gots it."

And the group I recently approached in the Rushmore Civic Center parking lot seems to prove the point. Of a dozen teens I spoke with, every one admitted to having illicit pictures on their phones. Even more troubling, they were more than eager to share the proof. As the interview goes on, the teens pull out their phones and begin showcasing the photos that serve as prime example of what they admit has become a societal norm for their peer group. A 17-year old boy offers repeatedly to show me what's on his phone.

"Do you want to see it?" He asks. "No. Don't show me," I reply, motioning him to keep his phone where only he can see it. In huddled groups they gather around a single phone at a time, looking at the images each one carries, shading the screens to make the images clearer in the sun.

"Ooh, sick!" one girl exclaims after seeing the picture the boy had tried to share with me moments before.

"That is so gross!" says another, looking over her shoulder. And with recent surveys showing teens send an average of 80 text messages per day, every day of the year, many parents are only now catching on to the game.

"As a parent of a teen daughter, it's something I worry about."

Sacha McBride is savvy to the technological proficiency and natural sexual curiosity that are fueling the trend. She says she keeps a close eye on her 15-year old, but wonders if it's enough. "I just worry that they'll ruin their reputations," McBride says. And there are legal concerns as well. Images sent between consenting teens are not illegal. But once those photos are circulated to a third party without the consent of the original sender, it becomes distribution of child pornography. If those same pictures are sent to an adult, they could be found guilty of possessing child pornography, even if the photos are of their own children. In Nebraska, a 15-year old North Platte boy was recently given probation after taking and sending unsolicited photos of his genitals to a 13-year old girl. In Florida, a 17-year old boy must now register as a sex offender for sending nude photos of his 16-year old girlfriend to dozens of friends as revenge after she ended their relationship.

"That's just it," says one teen girl. "Once it's out there, it's out there and you can't ever get it back and you can't control where it goes from there. It's like the toothpaste in the tube."

Still, even experts in the major media don't seem to agree on whether "Sexting" is harmful or how parents should deal with it. A recent USA Today article called it, "nothing more than a harmless game," and, "this generation's version of spin the bottle." While there's no denying that the hormonal rush of puberty has always resulted in exploratory behavior and a chromosomal draw toward titillation among teens, parents like McBride are increasingly troubled by the realization that the added element of modern electronic devices has multiplied the potential consequences for pushing the erotic envelope.

"It is just really scary to know that one stupid move with a cell phone could ruin their lives, or at least ruin their high school careers and define their high school years in ways that they regret," McBride says.

Surprisingly, while the teens I talked to seemed cavalier and, in some cases, even proud of the photos they'd taken and collected, several admitted feelings of shame and embarrassment about the practice, with some wishing their parents would be more involved with their phone habits.

"Find out what your kid has on their phone," said one. "Do they want their kid to get a bad reputation for being dirty and being a slut and a whore for sending that stuff out there?"

"It's dirty," said another. "It's Low. Little boys and girls aren't supposed to be doing that, yet."